Things that throw me into a blind rage: Subway Edition

2 phrases:

1. “Yum Rocket”
2. “Grand Theft Sandwich”

SERIOUSLY?! Every time I hear this particular commercial, I literally feel violent. It’s as if there is some subliminal messaging force that is compelling me to take up arms against the injustice that is douchey advertising (wait, that’s redundant).

Subway, you have topped yourself with this one. I thought the “5 Dollar Footlong” song was bad enough, but you go and prove that you had more of the stuff in you. And, don’t EVEN get me started on that Jarrod dick, flaunting his enormous pants with typical software engineer swagger. You are like a criminally insane genius…you certainly know what you are doing, my frenemy.

I wish I could quit you…