DMV is A-OK

I am sitting in the DMV right now. It is an especially dismal place due to the fact that the lobby is full of disgruntled people who were turned away from the initial help desk at the stroke of 3. Apparently, the budget crisis in our great State of California has prompted our governor, one Mr. Arnold Schwarzenegger, to put the kybosh on any superfluous government spending. So now, any temp employees have been laid off & the rest of the workforce cannot work overtime & will start being paid only minimum wage. I guess this is the governor’s way of putting the pressure on legislators to get their arses in gear to approve the budget. So now, it the very present, I am bearing witness to some of the casualties of this crisis – the turned away people & the DMV employees getting accosted. I happened to get my number at about 2:55, so I narrowly escaped being part of said angry mob. Of course, I have not actually fared that well – my number is 417 & they just called 282. Yeah.

Why (you may ask) am I at the DMV? For the best imaginable reason possible…I lost my wallet this week – yes, it contained all credit cards, some cash, medical cards, etc. This is exacerbated by the sad fact that the wallet itself was my most favorite wallet in the world, as it was adorned by Dachshunds wearing hats & smoking pipes…nuf said. So now I sit, surrounded by the unwashed masses that are the patrons of the California Department of Motor Vehicles. The circumstances surrounding this loss include whiskey, karaoke & coworkers. Oh yeah, it also contains a certain blackout. The next day, I said to a coworker, “It’s so sad, I didn’t even get to do Mr. Roboto.” To which, he replied, “Uh, yeah you did.” I am super dooper klassy.

I just realized the guy next to me is reading over my shoulder. I should write something super shocking or sexy. Maybe even something shockingly sexy!! What a dick for reading what I am writing. Yeah, I am counting on him reading that last bit.

No kidding, is bathing a lost art form? Good night!!!

I am starting to get nervous here because they haven’t been calling any numbers from my series in a long time. I would go up & ask, but the workers scare me. Wow, there’s a guy next to me who looks like Rocky from Mask, but without the deformity. That’s not really very interesting, is it?

After the fact:
All of a sudden, a security guard comes up to us defeated patrons & announces that nobody will be seen past 5 pm. In other words, I sat here for 2 hours just to be turned away. I knew that my number would never called, so I hijack a number that was once owned by someone gave up & left. I was feeling pretty pleased with myself until I discovered that they could not give me a new one on account of my license being suspended. Apparently, I had a fixit ticket a year ago that I never fully cleared up. I got the issue fixed, but I guess I never mailed in the signed ticket. That little oversight costs a mere $300! Yay me!!