Yeah, yeah – I have Googled myself…who hasn’t? DON’T LIE!! I made the most delicious discovery the other day. Go to Google & type “truck stop waitress”. Numero Uno BABY!!
I also occasionally cheer myself up by Googling the phrase “charlene likes to”. My hijinx always delight.
I just got back from a long weekend in Portland, Oregon. Though I really wanted to visit my dear friend Heidi, I was a little reticent to visit the Pacific Northwest, as I had visions of hippies & smokers dancing in my head.
First & foremost, I am happy to report that my vision has officially been shattered. Though Portland is definitely rife with the aforementioned smokers & hippies (and vegans, I discovered), it also had a really good element of people who are just generally cool.
I will now make a list of what I liked:
• Heidi & crew
• All bars serve food
• No sales tax
• Guns & Roses Pinball
• Watching movies on the sidewalk
• Getting wasted in a bar that used to be a school (didn’t have time to go to the funeral parlor one)
• Taking along a framed picture of a coworker as my travelling companion (and sharpies, which allowed hilarious defacement)
I don’t want to make a similar list for the things that bugged me, but I will mention the one huge fly in my ointment: it was SO EFFING HOT!! Seriously, are you kidding me?! We had to compensate for the heat by drinking that much more heavily….and we did, oh how we did.
So now I am back. Went straight from the airport to work. Gotsta go pick up little Mathilda at my friend Martha’s after work…I missed that little wiener. I was, however, comforted during the trip by 2 surrogate dogs – Chico the Rat Terrier mix & Poppy the Pug/Boston Terrier mix. They slept with me every night & kept me company with their snore serenade.
All in all, it was a very successful trip – highly recommended.
Title sums it all up. It’s a great word, “prolificacy”…quite possible my fave word-o-the day.
My lack of writing really does not accurately reflect my life, as I have had tons of “stuff” going on…“stuff” that is actually mildly interesting even (well, maybe just to me).
First off, I am still residing in my new Estate in West Oakland, aka “Honkey Manor”. It’s a really neato house that has plenty of space in which to spread out. It’s not without its flaws, but I will always pick the dings of an old house over the lack of charm that a perfect new place offers.
I experienced my first Oakland rite of passage a couple of weeks ago. Yes, I experienced a smash & grab.
The scene: right in front of my house
The time: around 7 pm, brightly lit.
The scenario: I arrive home from work around 6:30 pm with a horrifically profound need to urinate. Yeah, I said it – I had to pee.
I exit my car & run up to the house. RUN up to the house. I do my business & promptly become distracted for around 20 minutes…no foolin – TWENTY MINUTES. All of a sudden, it occurs to me that I forgot my laptop in the car, so I run out to get it. Obviously, I discover my car window busted & the bag GONE. Ugh, can you effing believe this?! Yeah, me too.
So I do a weird kind of 3 stooges maneuver (though solo) & then get my bearings. I run back into the house, grab my roommate & make him drive me around the neighborhood to find the perp. Shocker – did not find them.
When I return to the scene of the crime, I notice a guy sitting in a beater Camaro (not a bitchin’ one) out front. I walk up to him & ask if he saw anything. He tells me, “Naw, I just sat down”. I then notice a small tire iron on the ground & tell my roommate, “Hey, I think I know what they broke my window with”. The man in the car hears me & informs us that he was cleaning out his car & just threw that out there – an explanation I lamely accepted.
When I discovered the break-in, I naturally called the police. It was a work laptop that was stolen & my job required a police report (what a joke!!). Apparently, when one calls the po po’s to a neighborhood like mine, they have a tendency to look around the whole neighborhood for anything amiss. I guess the afore mentioned Camaro had “issues” because it promptly got towed away. When I saw the tow truck & cop car approach, I walked over & asked if he could look in the car to see if there was evidence of my theft. After the pig laughed at me & said that I was dreaming if I thought my computer would be there (no duh, jerk), I said, “Can you just please look”? He did & guess what – empty computer bag full of broken glass from my window. Poetic, eh?
So later that day, my roommate tells me that the owner (junkie son of woman who lives across the street) of said car came over to our house. He told roommate that he did not appreciate us getting his car towed (we didn’t) & that things like this never happened until us honkies move in. NICE!
I still like Oakland.
