There once was a man named Bertold
Who drank beer when the weather grew cold
As he reached for his cup…
“NEEEEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP!!!”
Oh, snap! You just got limerickrolled!
February 26, 2008
Limericks are the BEST!
Profundities, which kinda sounds like Pro-fun-titties
I have a fascination with the bizarre…always have. I think this part of my personality was formed by the stealing of Mad Magazines from my older brother…I remember vividly reading them, though rarely really understanding. I just knew, deep inside, that it was brilliant.
When I read in Mad Magazine the conundrum about omnipotent God creating a rock that was too heavy for him to lift, my mind was seriously blown. No kidding – it was the first time in my life I started to question “things”.
Going past the Mad Magazine, I also have a flair for spotting the ridiculous (and appreciating it). Several years ago, I witnessed a tow truck towing a tow truck and I thought (and still think, actually) that it was about the most profound thing I had ever witnessed. Think about it.
This morning, on the scrolling ticker tape at the bottom of the morning news, I saw the headline, “three armed men rob bank”. My first thought, obviously, was, “Wow, I would love to see 2 dudes with 3 arms apiece robbing a bank!” COME ON!!
I have said too much…
February 19, 2008
Majikal Subway
I went to Subway today to grab a sandwich. If it’s good enough for Jerrod, it’s great enough for Charlene.
So, I am there in line…breathing in the aroma of fresh baked bread-like food & loving the fact that there’s only 1 person ahead of me in line. The prospect of spending only 3 big ones on a little slab of processed deliciousness was staggering.
Finally, after what seemed like hours (actually was closer to 30 seconds), I order my business. There are several other patrons next to me who are having the sandwich artists (I know, I know) put the finishing touches on their masterpieces. It’s pretty mundane, so I start to tune out…but then, like manna from heaven, I hear a guy say, “I’d like toe-MAH-toes”. Did this non-British dude just say what I think he said?! Did this dockers-wearing sombitch just drop “toe-MAH-toes” like it was hot?! Oh, sweet Moses – I think I’m in lurve.
That guy’s gotta have the biggest you-know-whatties of anyone I know!
