funny junk

http://www.mydamnchannel.com/channel.aspx?episode=379

then

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=260206691307

I`m Sam from New Jersey and wants someone that`ll be love me and that i`ll also cherish

[17:18] eshman2: hi

[17:18] charleneshouse: hi

[17:18] eshman2: how`re u doing?

 [17:18] charleneshouse: ok

[17:20] eshman2: fine
[17:21] eshman2: what r u doing tonight?

[17:21] charleneshouse: nothing

[17:22] eshman2: how do u mean?

[17:23] charleneshouse: I mean that I am doing nothing

[17:23] eshman2: alright
[17:24] eshman2: may i know your real name,pls?

[17:24] charleneshouse: Betty

[17:25] eshman2: I`m Sam from New Jersey and wants someone that`ll be love me and that i`ll also cherish
[17:26] eshman2: I almost guessed
[17:26] eshman2: I love that name
[17:27] eshman2: honestly,I have noticed each time i come across any that answers your name
[17:28] eshman2: it appeals to me

[17:28] charleneshouse: what?

[17:28] eshman2: So betty,how`s life?
[17:28] eshman2: work? family? n friends?

 [17:28] charleneshouse: you meet a lot of Bettys?

[17:30] eshman2: No, I mean it could be at work,church or something

[17:30] charleneshouse: do you go to church?

[17:31] eshman2: yep
[17:33] eshman2: and u?

[17:33] charleneshouse: I don’t go to church

[17:33] eshman2: y?

[17:33] charleneshouse: church makes my skin itch
[17:34] charleneshouse: but that could also be my psoriasis
[17:35] charleneshouse: did that scare you away?

The Society for the Promotion of Good Grammar

		The Society for the Promotion of Good Grammar

		The Worst Grammar in the United States Hello, members of SPOGG!In the last year, membership in our group has grown to more than 5,000 people. More exciting things are ahead. SPOGG has succeeded in getting March 4 recognized as the first-ever National Grammar Day. (Get it, March forth? Nyuk!) We want to identify the least-grammatical city in the United States—as well as the most grammatical. For now, though, SPOGG is looking only for great examples of bad grammar. Do you live in the middle of an apostrophe catastrophe? In a sea of bad spelling? Rat out your neighbors, please. Some guidelines and suggestions: 1) The more public the offense, the better. We’d love a bad billboard. We’re less likely to include bad restaurant menus, particularly in restaurants run by people who don’t speak English as a first language. They have nothing but our admiration; English is a tricky language. 2) Photos would be excellent. We can make a hilarious Hall of Shame. Video works, too, if you happen to be recording some local television news. We need evidence of the crimes against grammar to make our cases stick. 3) A quick list of places to look: Newspapers, church bulletins, school newsletters, national chain restaurants, weekly ad circulars, bulletin boards, billboards. The deadline: The sooner we have this stuff, the more fun we can have with it. How’d you like to see your city on the Today Show? That’s the level of coverage we’re shooting for, and if we have good submissions, that gives us our best shot. (Note: Depending on what we get, we might switch it to least-grammatical state.) The reward: The very best submissions, as determined by a vote of our members, will be rewarded with merchandise from the SPOGG shop. Many thanks for your help, and stay tuned for more! Martha Brockenbrough, on behalf of SPOGG Catch up with the SPOGG blog

i’m a smart, cute, self sufficient with good head on shoulders

reev_b is currently not in your Messenger List.

 

reev_b: hi

Charlene Evans: hi

reev_b: enjoying the day ?

Charlene Evans: no

reev_b: awww. what happened ?
reev_b: manager giving you trouble ?

Charlene Evans: YES

reev_b: i hate that

Charlene Evans: he makes me type til my fingers bleed

reev_b: awww.
reev_b: wish i could help you
reev_b: i love ot type

Charlene Evans: and when I bring him coffee, he looks at me like a piece of meat

reev_b: although with mistakes
reev_b: damn how dare he
reev_b: i want to punch his nose

Charlene Evans: YEAH!

reev_b:
reev_b: your name ?

Charlene Evans: betty

reev_b: cute name
reev_b: your pic on the profile is cute too!
reev_b: how do you do that  ?

Charlene Evans: do what?

reev_b: look so cute!

Charlene Evans: oh, that

reev_b: so you live in sf ?

Charlene Evans: if I really was cute, maybe my dad would have loved me

reev_b: well, i’m sure lots of guys love you1
reev_b: there must be a long line of them outside your home trying to fill out applications

Charlene Evans: yeah, that’s true

reev_b: can i get an application ?

Charlene Evans: what are your qualifications?

reev_b: i’m a smart, cute, self sufficient with good head on shoulders

Charlene Evans: do you speak nicely to women?

reev_b: of course. i’m polite and a gentleman
reev_b: i know how to treat women nice
reev_b: are you taken ?

Charlene Evans: see, that’s where we have a problem.  I only like men who treat me badly

reev_b: lol.
reev_b: you should just ask for it

Charlene Evans: YOU ask for it

reev_b: well then you must be in love with your manager

Charlene Evans: MAYBE I AM

reev_b: ah i see
reev_b: well no much hope for me
reev_b:
reev_b: i promise i can treat you more badly than him

Charlene Evans: do you have any prior experience mistreating women?

reev_b: no
reev_b: you just have to teach me

Charlene Evans: god helps those who help themselves

reev_b: true
reev_b: when do i get to treat you then ?

Charlene Evans: NEVER

reev_b:

New Message Board!

It’s not on my site yet on account of I am too lazy to finish it right now (and pancakes are calling): http://charleneshouse.com/forum/

She’s Just Showing Her Ignorance

A couple of weeks ago, I experienced an honest to goodness Muni freak out.  I don’t know about you, but an occasional bit of muni zany/craziness  is great for cutting the monotony of  public transport.

The rub in my little tale is the very sad fact the the crazy here was allll me…Grade D Prime Charlene (see what I did there?)

Anyways, here’s how it went down:

7:30 pm – Enter the L train, must note that I was a leetle drunk…Miller High Life IS the champagne of beers after all.
7:32 pm – Start playing a game on my phone as I do not want to  make  contact with any of the unwashed masses aboard train.
7:24 pm – I do this weird involuntary sputter thing…like when you inhale a bit-o-saliva.  No biggie – just your average minor choking fit.
7:25 pm – A woman seated near me tsk tsks & makes a disgusted face at me.
7:26 pm – Whilst standing there playing my game, it occurs to me that I don’t take kindly to corrections offered to me by strangers.  Therefore, I pause my game & mimic her disapproval of me…LOUDLY.  It also included a nifty reenactment of the face she made at me…times 10.
7:28 pm – She says to me, “It’s polite to cover your mouth when you cough”.
7: 30 pm – I answer her, “It wasn’t a cough…I choked…it was an accident…FUCK OFFFFFFF”. (upon hearing this, the people near me scurried away from crazy…ME!
7:32 pm – Muni woman slightly rises from her seat & announces to the train, “She’s just showing her ignorance”.
7:33 pm – Charlene is rendered utterly speechless.  What could I have ever said to that?!  I had to let her have the last word!

I am rad.

except um that you’re like BAM hot

validationsticker is currently not in your Messenger List.

validationsticker: crazy photo

Charlene Evans: really?

validationsticker: got kids?
validationsticker: or dying to meet killer friend

Charlene Evans: what does one have to do with the other?

validationsticker: nothing they’re different
validationsticker: but maybe either could drive you crazy?
validationsticker: ya that’s my final answer

Charlene Evans: wow

validationsticker: huh?
validationsticker: i aksed you a question I guess

Charlene Evans: what’s the question?

validationsticker: what’d you do for new years/?

Charlene Evans: stayed home with my kids

validationsticker: see~!!!!
validationsticker: that’s what I aksed you the first time
validationsticker: you lil fooler

Charlene Evans: are you calling me a liar?

validationsticker: no way I would sooo never even think of that ever
validationsticker: non judge-like
validationsticker: except um that you’re like BAM hot

Charlene Evans: well, that’s true

validationsticker: do you feel the same for me
validationsticker: I beg for compliments from stranger ladies

Charlene Evans: now are you calling me strange?

validationsticker: no way I would totally never even think of that

Charlene Evans: do you live with your parents?

validationsticker: look, you need to answer my question before you can aks me some of yours

Charlene Evans: I told you that I have kids, didn’t I?
Charlene Evans: I also told you what I did for New Years

validationsticker: then you skipped the last one though
validationsticker: that’s so rude

Charlene Evans: you’re so rude

validationsticker: no way, it must be something to do with lack of visual nuances. I’m super polite all the time

Charlene Evans: visual nuances?! you’re also super gay all the time, huh?

validationsticker: only if it pays off
validationsticker: i’m just talking to you like I care about you

Charlene Evans: you’re only acting like you care about me?
Charlene Evans: you don’t really care?

validationsticker: i cant tell yet
validationsticker: u aren’t honest and accepting
validationsticker: but you’re hot and witty
validationsticker: so ?

Charlene Evans: seriously man, where are you from?!

validationsticker: why so you can tell me off

Charlene Evans: what do you mean?
Charlene Evans: oh, I get it – you are telling ME off
Charlene Evans: with your silence
Charlene Evans: good one