Further fun with Yahoo Messenger

jhon_hall2001 10:57 AM hello
jhon_hall2001 10:57 AM are u single?
charleneshouse 10:57 AM why?
jhon_hall2001 10:57 AM cuz i want to know
charleneshouse 10:58 AM why do you want to know?
jhon_hall2001 10:58 AM cuz i am looking
charleneshouse 10:58 AM looking for what?
jhon_hall2001 10:59 AM single
charleneshouse 10:59 AM single what?
jhon_hall2001 10:59 AM looking for some single
charleneshouse 10:59 AM some single what?
jhon_hall2001 11:00 AM are u or no?
charleneshouse 11:00 AM am I what?
jhon_hall2001 11:00 AM single or not
charleneshouse 11:01 AM I like to sing
jhon_hall2001 11:01 AM i like sex
jhon_hall2001 11:02 AM u cant talk now right
jhon_hall2001 11:02 AM so?
jhon_hall2001 11:03 AM are u single?
charleneshouse 11:03 AM do you like to sing about sex?
jhon_hall2001 11:03 AM i like have sex with u
jhon_hall2001 11:04 AM
charleneshouse 11:05 AM how do you have sex with a “u”?
jhon_hall2001 11:05 AM meeting u
jhon_hall2001 11:06 AM u are not my favorite
jhon_hall2001 11:06 AM bye
charleneshouse 11:06 AM HA!
jhon_hall2001 11:07 AM yea
charleneshouse 11:07 AM but you are MY favorite!
jhon_hall2001 11:07 AM no i am not
jhon_hall2001 11:08 AM u just playing
charleneshouse 11:08 AM no, I am a very serious person
charleneshouse 11:08 AM I never play
jhon_hall2001 11:08 AM whats u name?
charleneshouse 11:08 AM Beth
charleneshouse 11:09 AM are you in a foreign country?
jhon_hall2001 11:09 AM no
jhon_hall2001 11:10 AM from San Francisco
jhon_hall2001 11:10 AM u?
jhon_hall2001 11:13 AM hello
charleneshouse 11:15 AM sorry
charleneshouse 11:16 AM my phone rang
jhon_hall2001 11:16 AM ok
charleneshouse 11:17 AM you are from San Francisco?
jhon_hall2001 11:17 AM yea u?
charleneshouse 11:17 AM you were born in San francisco?
jhon_hall2001 11:17 AM yes
charleneshouse 11:18 AM really?
jhon_hall2001 11:18 AM ohh yea
charleneshouse 11:18 AM and your first language was English?
jhon_hall2001 11:19 AM yea
jhon_hall2001 11:19 AM whats up
charleneshouse 11:20 AM hmmm.
jhon_hall2001 11:20 AM what about u?
charleneshouse 11:20 AM yes
charleneshouse 11:20 AM how old are you?
jhon_hall2001 11:21 AM 30
jhon_hall2001 11:22 AM tell me about u
charleneshouse 11:22 AM well, one thing about me is that I don’t think you were born in the US
charleneshouse 11:22 AM it doesn’t matter
jhon_hall2001 11:22 AM and?
charleneshouse 11:23 AM and another thing about me is that I don’t like to talk to
people who don’t tell the truth
charleneshouse 11:23 AM and I especially don’t like to talk to people who
type “u” instead of “you”
charleneshouse 11:24 AM AND
charleneshouse 11:24 AM I think it is creepy to IM girls and tell them how you like to have sex
charleneshouse 11:24 AM AND
charleneshouse 11:24 AM yes, I am making fun of you
jhon_hall2001 11:25 AM u making fun of me?
jhon_hall2001 11:26 AM and?

I am funny looking

fige100 7:39 PM hello
charleneshouse 7:39 PM hi
fige100 7:39 PM hello
fige100 7:40 PM your pic make me laugh really i like somthing funny
charleneshouse 7:40 PM you think I am funny looking?
fige100 7:41 PM yes
fige100 7:41 PM you do
charleneshouse 7:41 PM I do what?
fige100 7:42 PM i waznted to say you are really charming woman and you like funy too
charleneshouse 7:42 PM oh..thanks?
fige100 7:42 PM yw
fige100 7:43 PM can you tell me a bout your self if you pls
charleneshouse 7:43 PM why?
fige100 7:44 PM just i like your pic you looks funny and very kind that is all
charleneshouse 7:47 PM no, I am not funny
charleneshouse 7:47 PM or kind
fige100 7:48 PM i a not belive that
fige100 7:49 PM tell me canj we see each other
fige100 7:49 PM i have a cam
charleneshouse 7:49 PM no
fige100 7:49 PM why
fige100 7:49 PM just scond
charleneshouse 7:49 PM don’t want to
fige100 7:49 PM pls
charleneshouse 7:49 PM no
fige100 7:50 PM just scond and shut at me pls
fige100 7:50 PM i have cam
fige100 7:50 PM pls
charleneshouse 7:50 PM no
fige100 7:50 PM pls
charleneshouse 7:50 PM no
fige100 7:50 PM pls
charleneshouse 7:50 PM no
fige100 7:50 PM pls
charleneshouse 7:50 PM no
fige100 7:51 PM pls
fige100 7:51 PM pls
charleneshouse 7:51 PM no
charleneshouse 7:51 PM no
fige100 7:51 PM plsz
charleneshouse 7:51 PM noz
fige100 7:52 PM plze
charleneshouse 7:53 PM no means no
fige100 7:53 PM pls means pls
charleneshouse 7:54 PM I told you that I am not nice
fige100 7:54 PM lol
fige100 7:54 PM you looks fine
fige100 7:54 PM and beautiful
fige100 7:55 PM pls
fige100 7:56 PM pls
charleneshouse 7:57 PM yeah, it’s not gonna happen
fige100 7:57 PM pls
fige100 7:59 PM pls
***this is where he invites me to see his cam***
charleneshouse 7:59 PM I don’t want to see yours either
charleneshouse 7:59 PM I don’t have eyes
fige100 7:59 PM lol
charleneshouse 7:59 PM what is this “lol”?
fige100 8:00 PM bcvs you say you dnt have eyes
fige100 8:00 PM so how yu writ
fige100 8:00 PM lol
charleneshouse 8:01 PM you think that’s funny?
fige100 8:01 PM sorry charming
fige100 8:03 PM can i sdee y
fige100 8:03 PM yes or no
charleneshouse 8:03 PM no

Bus Rage

I normally leave work late-ish, so the underground is not usually that crowded when I head for home. This particular day, I discovered that bolting out of office at 5:29 pm has its disadvantages.

First of all, I need to point out the fact that the Muni has unwritten etiquette. Etiquette that not everybody follows, natch. For instance, when the train pulls up, you should stand aside so the people can get off. This rarely happens when I am exiting at Embarcadero, so I am usually forced to shove my way thru…moshpit-style. This is not exactly a complaint of mine, on account of I get a little thrill out of taking my aggression/frustration out by mowing over these people.

Another bit of Muni politeness is exiting the train when it’s not your stop so others can get off. As soon as they’ve disembarked, it is widely understood that these people will re-enter the vehicle…I have never experienced anyone not keeping a space open for me to get back on…until today…

I step off the train to let people out & this dick darts into the only small space left. I walk right up to him (he’s about a foot taller than me) and explain to him what just happened. You know what the son of a bitch did?! He pretended like he couldn’t hear me!! Know what I did? I body slammed my way on to the train and stared at him from about 6 inches away the whole time. He flat refused to make eye contact with me.

Man, have I got a deathwish…

Fun with Yahoo

Don’t know why, but I get random IM’s on my Yahoo account. FYI – my profile lists my occupation as “fake office manager”. Also, I looked up this dude’s profile & he listed his status as “married but looking”. What a douche!!!!

roughsx2003 10:46 PM cute. fake office manager?
charleneshouse 11:24 PM yes
roughsx2003 11:24 PM great. beautiful town
charleneshouse 11:24 PM yes
roughsx2003 11:25 PM are you originally from there?
roughsx2003 11:26 PM what kind of fake office? lol
charleneshouse 11:27 PM lol?
roughsx2003 11:27 PM the profile says a fake office… lol
charleneshouse 11:27 PM no, real office
charleneshouse 11:27 PM I am fake
roughsx2003 11:28 PM haha. cute. you’re fake. but doing a really good job of appearing real.. lol
charleneshouse 11:28 PM magic
roughsx2003 11:28 PM what part of sf?
charleneshouse 11:31 PM do you know SF?
roughsx2003 11:32 PM pretty well. I’ve spent some time there
charleneshouse 11:32 PM where do you live?
roughsx2003 11:33 PM I live in Texas but come there on business
roughsx2003 11:35 PM I’ll be there again next month — staying on Union Square
charleneshouse 11:36 PM what do you do?
roughsx2003 11:36 PM I’m a public relations executive.
roughsx2003 11:36 PM you?
charleneshouse 11:37 PM fake office manager, remember?
roughsx2003 11:37 PM oh, I know, but for real…
roughsx2003 11:37 PM or are you an actual office manager?
charleneshouse 11:37 PM maybe
roughsx2003 11:38 PM haha. just what I like. Mystery.
roughsx2003 11:38 PM I love to come to SF in the summer time. It’s such a striking difference from Texas. Always love to see the fog roll in in the afternoon.
charleneshouse 11:40 PM I guess most places are a striking difference from Texas?
roughsx2003 11:40 PM no, not really.
roughsx2003 11:40 PM but the weather in summer, certainly yes
roughsx2003 11:45 PM so are the guys on here absolutely beating down your doors?
charleneshouse 11:46 PM I don’t have a door
roughsx2003 11:46 PM well then how can these guys beat it down!
charleneshouse 11:47 PM I beat them down
charleneshouse 11:48 PM your profile name is “roughsx2003″?
charleneshouse 11:48 PM what do you mean by that?
roughsx2003 11:48 PM yes — makes for an interesting conversation piece, don’t you think? lol
charleneshouse 11:49 PM roflmao lol lol
roughsx2003 11:49 PM well, I think rough sex can be an interesting diversion.
roughsx2003 11:49 PM haha
roughsx2003 11:49 PM and that usually prompts an interesting discussion
charleneshouse 11:49 PM diversion from what?
roughsx2003 11:49 PM from the relative boredom of vanilla…
roughsx2003 11:50 PM I don’t know — there’s something especially exotic about the idea of an attractive, confident, strong, smart woman who essentially says “take me. I’m yours. Absolutely anything you want.” That’s significantly intoxicating.
charleneshouse 11:51 PM so is whiskey
roughsx2003 11:52 PM true, but jack, while good in a pinch, isn’t nearly as much fun… .lol
charleneshouse 11:53 PM he is my boyfriend
roughsx2003 11:53 PM I love that line Robin Williams used: “If alcohol is a crutch, jack daniels is the wheelchair…”
charleneshouse 11:54 PM that is deep
charleneshouse 11:54 PM did you write that?
roughsx2003 11:54 PM I stole it from Robin Williams…
roughsx2003 11:54 PM another San Francisco native.
charleneshouse 11:54 PM is he?
roughsx2003 11:55 PM yes, he is
charleneshouse 11:55 PM oh
roughsx2003 11:55 PM Hey, I wanna see more pictures of my mysterious fake office manager…
charleneshouse 11:56 PM I broke my camera
roughsx2003 11:57 PM now that’s too bad…
charleneshouse 11:57 PM is it?
roughsx2003 11:57 PM it is… although I suppose it adds to the mystery, which isn’t a bad thing
charleneshouse 11:58 PM you know what would be super mysterious?
roughsx2003 11:59 PM what’s that?

charleneshouse signed out

snow=white death

Last weekend, I went to South Lake Tahoe for the wedding of one Ms. Sarah Bennett & Mr. Dave Mello. Upon hearing the news that I was going, people asked me if I skied/snowboarded. My instant basic answer was “What do YOU think?!”

So the wedding itself was very nice & the subsequent party was ass-kickin’. The night before the wedding, I even nailed a rousing rendition of “Ice Ice Baby” at a seedy Tahoe Karaoke bar. Apparently, I got drunkenly caught up in the moment & threw the microphone on the floor upon completion of said song & got yelled at by the big bad karaoke dj guy…but that’s a story for another day…

Anyways, my friend Heidi & I decided to get the hell out of sub-zero Tahoe at the crack of 8 am on the Sunday following the wedding. Problem with this plan was the fact that about a foot of snow had dumped in the night & everything was buried…cars, road, etc. We saw on the news that chains were required, so we set off to the nearest Longs Drugs (who knew?!) to get some. Didn’t have my size (story of my life). We asked the nice lady there where else we could go & she told us Safeway. I don’t trust a town that sells tire chains in grocery stores, but that also is for another day. So, we find them & head out. Soon, we came upon a nice man who put them on the car for $30. Even though we had chains on, we still went slip-sliding away down Highway 50…no biggie, though – we were headed back to civilization!

Before we got our chains, we were repeatedly admonished to not drive with them on if there was no snow on ground…making us very paranoid. We had driven for several miles in the snow (very slowly) without major incident. The several whiteouts & fishtails were kinda scary, but we braved them. Soon, the snow stopped coming down completely & the roads started to clear. The traffic even started to go a little faster. We remembered the warnings about not driving with chains when there was no snow, so we burly she-men pulled over & removed them ourselves. Back on the road, we were happily getting closer to home…or so we thought. All of a sudden, the snow came back!!! We unexpectedly got caught in another stretch of blizzard & this time without chains!! I kinda started to panic, but held it together. Heidi just reminded me to keep the speed down & we would be okay. Then, all of a sudden, the car tires started moving independently from the steering wheel. Before I even realized what was happening, the car started veering to the left, culminating in a complete 180 into the other lane of Hwy 50!! The only thing that saved our sorry asses is the fact that the lane we went into was closed…they were not letting people up the hill. What’s weird about the whole thing is that neither Heidi nor I panicked – not even a little. We just calmly said, “Holy shit” & waited for it to end. Once it was over, we just sat for a second & regrouped. The guy who was following behind us just glanced at us matter-of-factly – it’s pretty f’d up to live somewhere that this occurrence is commonplace.

Once we got back on the road (and heading the right direction), we vowed to never again go to the snow. We cemented this pact with beers at a restaurant in Folsom called BJ’s (snicker).

On the bright side, I have never appreciated San Francisco as much as I do now…why would anybody live anywhere else?!